The power of fire can warm, give, and sustain life or take and destroy. Today’s guest has been forged in the fire and is literally named for it. Todd Ignatius Gross Jr of Breaking Glass Ceilings opens up about social anxiety, depression, learning disabilities, even the will to live. About how learned associations and emotional attachments held him in place. Most importantly and actionably we talk about the tools and ways Todd has completely turned it all around in relationships, health, and business. Todd shares his mindset on progress over pursuit of perfection, how he tees up every single day to be outstanding, and the importance of coaches to accelerate change and enable LIVING YOUR MISSION.
- Setting every day up to be outstanding
- Progress over perfection
- Learned meaning and emotional associations
- Power and purpose of a coach
- Reprogramming the stories we tell ourselves
TODD GROSS JR.
Todd Gross Jr is a personal development coach and speaker. He’s a hand-to-hand and firearms instructor but teaches self-defense from a platform that starts with self-love and self-care. Todd is a Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming, studied under Tony Robbins and applied personally in completely turning around and reinventing his own life, happiness, and success. Through his company Breaking Glass Ceilings, Todd offers his experience and expertise to enable you to “LIVE YOUR MISSION!”
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Todd [00:00:00] Oh my goodness. Like we have to step away from Perfection and focus on the progress because once you reach that that ideal of perfection, do you notice that it's more Beyond like Perfection doesn't exist.
Michael [00:00:24] Fire fire has the power to warm to create to give and sustain life and at the same time the ability to tear it down and destroy this week's guest is just that powerful. In fact, his name is literally Ignatius. So today, we're going to ignite. Let's get after it with our guest Todd Gross Junior.
Michael [00:00:46] This is episode 42 of the man of Mastery podcast where we're putting together purpose and passion in action. Where we're going to embrace getting out of our comfort zones to grow and stand ready to learn and to lead. This is your resource to discover and learn from others as I have about their Mastery journey and apply it to yours.
Michael [00:01:08] We're all about aligning happiness fulfillment Health Wellness productivity and peace. So let me say a word or two about man of Mastery and maybe that's Miss title. Maybe it should have been men of Mastery because it's about it's about you. Guys, or maybe more specifically the man of Mastery is you it's not me and it's not about perfection or some destination as Todd's going to talk to us about today.
Michael [00:01:38] It's about progress and and resetting are thinking about perfection. It's about progress It's about the journey. So a couple other top things from Todd that you're going to hear in today's episode. We're going to talk about coaching and how important coaches or mentors are how they literally speed up time when they help us across the the learning curve.
Michael [00:02:01] And Todd also talks. He just gets very transparent with us about his past about not wanting to wake up every day and how he just completely transformed and redefined his meeting in the way. He looked at life. About what emotional attachment he put in meaning to things and and he just completely redefined and talks to us about how to have an outstanding day every single day.
Michael [00:02:30] So I guess with that you can go back and find the show notes for this one at man of Mastery.com 0:42 and find links to Todd is Massive Action Monday's that you'll hear about but let's let's Jump Right In and get after it with Todd. nation's Gross Junior All right guys today I have with me Todd ignatious gross jr.
Michael [00:02:57] And you know, usually I do a little bit of an intro and I met but in this case, I mean this guy is so fired up Todd. I got to let you introduce yourself to us and the audience tell us who you are. All right, I appreciate it.
Todd [00:03:10] What's up guys is time goes genius CEO and founder of breaking glass ceiling. I am V tactical practitioner. I used neuro-linguistic programming and Precision and merging together to help you live your mission.
Michael [00:03:28] Love it live your mission great stuff. So, let's Dive Right In Todd. Can we talk? Can we talk about your work at all, or is that top secret? You're the Navy can we talk about what you do in the Navy or not so much
Todd [00:03:45] just to sail around looking for bad guys. That's pretty much what it is,
Michael [00:03:49] you know? Okay. All right, let's leave it. At that, I'm just going to say I from the very little I know about the nature of your job. I perceive it to be pretty technical which I just want to put out there because we're going to talk about some stuff and I think you've got some some educational history that to me just seemed at odds with that. So let's talk about what you do.
Michael [00:04:11] You mentioned NLP neuro-linguistic programming. You're a match Master practitioner in that. That's Tony Robbins, and I love the way you described to me. And I met through Krav Maga which some people know as a form of self-defense. Yeah, but what you described as you are a coach and self love and self care means to self-defense tell me
Todd [00:04:32] more. So but anyone who has never heard of neuro linguistic programming before it's basically the study of behavior patterns and Communications how they all work together to get you the results that you're getting right now and then being able to go into the behavior. Any communication and changing small things in that to get you the results you really want.
Todd [00:04:57] So when you're talking about communication, it's not just communicating with other people is also how you communicate to you. So, you know, so if you if you go into the kitchen and you knock over some milk and it Stills you say all man. I'm an idiot and he you know as you're cleaning it up you thinking that oh, I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot idiot. So then when you start to Embrace other areas of life outside of what you're used to and it difficult for you to embrace it because you believe you carrying their belief.
Todd [00:05:28] I'm an idiot to everything that you're doing. So does that make sense?
Michael [00:05:32] Yeah makes a ton of sense, especially in the context of how I came to know you or as confusing as that might be to me. So most people won't be able to see this. We may put a little video clip out but you're standing there. You're literally fired up you get this backdrop of fire and it's fire surrounding a big heart. Would you just kind of personify your super gregarious outgoing, you know friendly and then we started talking you said man, like I was I was none of those things.
Michael [00:06:01] I was introverted. Yeah, you know kind of socially almost disabled I think as you kind of described it and go on about your day, so something something flipped for you. So tell me a little bit more about that background that sort of learned. Sure, and you know believing either that internal dialogue or what you heard early in life.
Michael [00:06:23] And then what happened in adult life to change
Todd [00:06:25] that? Okay. It's so growing up. I was just I was always looking at the way to my parents operated and I mean, they loved each other and everything like that, but it was always a struggle and so I became conditioned that part where people struggle because they were out there working hard like most people do but it became like my internal voice that hard work equal struggle and I didn't know that at the time but so every time I felt like I had to work hard like a struggle and so I would only look for comfortable situation.
Todd [00:07:00] So when it came to like meeting new people, I didn't really know what to say. They said I was partially dyslexic that I had a
Michael [00:07:07] speech impediment.
Todd [00:07:08] They said I was really slow when it came to reading and everything like that. So I did some tests and they looked at the results and it is Like you're really low compared to where you're supposed to be basically saying that I'm done and I'm just like well, how do I show up in the rest of the world like being dumb and so having that belief that I was dumb then I believe I had a another believe that was ugly.
Todd [00:07:37] So I would always look down always keep my head down even though I'm wearing a hat right now. I would always have my hat down and I just didn't look people in the face. So I was like, well these people don't want to see somebody ugly kneeling and dumb. So that was like the believe that was a story about myself. Right? And what really changed it for me is that I got involved in this network marketing company.
Todd [00:08:01] Like I was at a point where I was severely depressed. I was like ready to commit suicide. I was literally pray every single night that I wouldn't wake up next day because I was just done with one eye was done with black and so at that point where I'm done with my own life, I'm not going Consider anybody else not going to regard anybody else's life and someone came to me with a network marketing company and it was just like hey, this is a new opportunity and I was just like, okay I've heard of these type of businesses before but I've never really done it.
Todd [00:08:35] And so some I saw the presentation and what really stood out to me was the mentorship that came along with the program and it was talking about personal development. It was like, oh, yeah. Have to read this book. So now I'm going back to my whole my old dyslexic. All right, sounds like well, how can I read? I can't open this book and look at it because every time I will open up a book The paid I mean the words would jump off the page like they would literally I couldn't concentrate on one sentence.
Todd [00:09:06] And so I literally made it through all of school never opening up a book every time that they told us to read I never opened up the book like sometimes I will try to go rent the movie, but the Movie is never liked the book those tests and stuff like that. But but in this and its network marketing company would tell us that we had to do personal development.
Todd [00:09:28] We had to read these books. I was just going to do that, but they had audible that came out something. Oh, yeah, so it's all but listen to these personal development books while I was going to sleep or while I was driving, you know, Tony Robbins coals at no extra time that time so while you're driving wires, Sleeping in literally reprogram your subconscious mind to believe other things and the basis of neuro linguistic programming is being able to model someone else that successful in a certain industry or certain company and something like that.
Todd [00:10:04] So it's basically saying that if this person in front of me can have these results I can do it, too. All I have to do is model what they think I have to model their belief that the model their physiology after model the way. They do it the syntax like in the order that they do it because if I give you my phone number and you don't put it in the right order, you'll never reach you know, so you have to do it in the right order and so understanding these new Concepts and that life doesn't have to be the way you see a like you can literally create your life.
Todd [00:10:37] You can be the architect in your life. Or you could be the firefighter right? You can go around just putting out fires all day just like oh, well, we gotta attend to this we got to attend it. The architect is going to build anyway, you know that fires are possible but your focus on building, you know, and so that's what it really it really helped me shift my mindset towards building rather than putting out the fires and then I realize that I can be exactly who I want to be. I
Todd [00:11:04] don't have to be those labels. I don't have to be dyslexic. I don't have to be dumb. I don't have to be ugly, you know all of those things. And so that's when I really started to embrace the self care and understanding that. I have to go do things by myself. Just like you know, you go out. You want to date your girlfriend or day your boyfriend you want to take your spouse out or anything like that.
Todd [00:11:25] You have to do that with yourself and we've been taught that it's been more like selfish and they like don't be so big don't be selfish. Don't be selfish. But if you if you go back to when you're a
Michael [00:11:36] kid and a lot of times parents do just with their kids.
Todd [00:11:39] Anyway, is that okay to be playing with the toy, right? It's playing with the toy and then another kid comes over to they want to play with it. And then that care to take the toy out of the kid that was playing with her first and then they were like, oh, I want my toy back and then the parents like oh, well you need to share so I'm sitting over here because they just took my toy and I'm watching him play with my toy.
Todd [00:12:02] And so I'm learning to prioritize someone else's happiness over mine. And so we believe we believe that not sharing like that is is being celebrated and it's not even sharing like you literally took it from me when I was
Michael [00:12:22] isn't that so true. You got to figure out how to be happy yourself before you can really show up show up for yourself for you show up for somebody else and and man what we tell ourselves and and What We Believe by way of telling ourselves and what we Tell others or what we believe that others tell us it's crazy how it sinks in you know, and as a parent I think about that a lot.
Michael [00:12:46] It's just it just really it amazed me when we met and I heard more of your story because I have the chance in this podcast. I meet so many people who you can look at and call successful and some people that are, you know, world-class and record holders and just you know, excelling at a level that's unbelievable and it even they talk about Our imposter syndrome and and they kind of look around their peer group.
Michael [00:13:12] They're legitimate peer group and they don't feel like they belong there. Right? Right, right because we kind of all have that self-doubt. We all have fears. We were talking the other day about about even you know, beyond fears of failures fear of success. Yeah, you know, like you're talking about why looked at my parents and they worked hard and maybe that didn't work out.
Michael [00:13:33] You know, how are they defined success? And so now I start to start to fear working hard I start to fear. R success because maybe that lead to unhappiness or I attached me at something there right? And so I get a chance to talk to people about this this journey. I used the word Mastery in this in the the title this podcast on what I'm doing not because it's an end state but because it's a journey and a lot of times people look at what they call success and they think about a point in time and maybe don't take the time to uncover the story of the reality of the journey the It's the lessons.
Michael [00:14:09] Yeah, no, the the challenges that turned into that ultimately, you know, maybe a plateau or point in time. So, you know, I came to know you again as as the Todd that I know today the guy that is just you know, unscripted right you're going from the heart right now every Monday or most Mondays you drop this video on YouTube and I'm certain, you know, you just kind of click the mic on and roll with roll with your passions on that.
Michael [00:14:37] It's It's such a different place that you are today from what you're talking about where you started from and and I again the job you have I know it's pretty pretty technical. So to come from a belief system where somebody told you you were maybe learning disabled dyslexic, you know below standard and aptitude or tests the ways you're selling today man.
Michael [00:15:01] Absolutely amazing.
Todd [00:15:03] Yeah. Thank you.
Michael [00:15:05] Well, so tell me a little bit more. Some of those tools tell me about NLP and how it made a difference for you. You're talking about modeling behaviors and some other things is that is that a tool that a system is it? Is it mentoring right? Because you mentioned a person that kind of take you under their wing in
Todd [00:15:25] that. Yeah, all those things. Yeah, definitely started with mentoring before I got even got into an LP just being around someone who believed in me more than I believe in myself. And then you're able to kind of like, you know, grab ahold of that belief is like every time that you're going around to do something.
Todd [00:15:46] They give you a task. Like Hey, we're going to do step one two and three but let's just focus on Step 1 and now I'm sitting here thinking like, oh my goodness. I don't know if I can do stuff. They like you can do it. I don't know if I can do it you can do it.
Todd [00:16:08] You can do it.
Michael [00:16:09] So then I'll go out and I'll
Todd [00:16:10] try it. Okay, why I didn't I didn't execute like how I wanted it and he's like, well, it's not about being perfect. It's about progress because you know, even though you didn't get step one perfectly, right? It's still set you up for Step 2. And oh my goodness like we have to step away from Perfection and focus on the progress because once you reach that that ideal, Of perfection.
Todd [00:16:39] Do you notice that it's more Beyond like Perfection doesn't exist. Right? And so that's when I was able to start to focus on the progress. But once once I was looking at that synapse or like how that was like labeled out on house in and out with like step one step two step three.
Todd [00:17:00] I don't like looking at other areas of my life. And that's what NLP allow me to do because you have health your wealth your relationships, so I started looking. All of those different areas. I'm just like, oh my goodness. I have have a Perfection complex about all of these things, you know, so I'm just like I'm scared to talk to people
Michael [00:17:22] because I don't want to say the wrong
Todd [00:17:23] thing and because I had like a disconnect between my brain knew what I wanted to say. It would come out the way that I was thinking about things
Michael [00:17:31] and then I'm just thinking that oh my goodness. I'm dyslexic. I'm going to
Todd [00:17:35] say it wrong it was even difficult for Me to order a pizza when I tell people that it's not impossible. But literally it was if I had to call him the pizza place. I would have to get my piece of paper out. I would have to write out the number right on what I was going to order exactly the way it was going to be when they gave me the price. I
Todd [00:17:58] would write the price down because I wanted to make sure that I had that exact amount of money in my hand to make sure that I was able to tip them and I just wanted everything to be perfect and it A simple phone call to get a pizza and also because I was so introverted I would struggle with understanding Direction.
Todd [00:18:22] So because even though I could see the outside world it was hard for me to interact and I felt like I was always dissociated from the world. So if it didn't matter if I grew up in the town or if I grew up in a city like I didn't know where I was looking I didn't know. Which way was normal to know was where it was. So I didn't know where I was going and being able to change my Association and dissociation because that's what life is all about is all about so they both eat because when you have like an emotional trigger, the only reason you're having a miscarriage so Associated to the out So Associated to what happening and how it involved you and how it affect you but someone could be right there next to you and they can be extremely dissociate away or when you can affect them.
Todd [00:19:11] And that's what I learned in. You know, he is the association and dissociation. So for people who don't understand associations associations, I can just give you a quick one. So the room that you're in right now, you're Associated to everything in it. So whether you can see the same whether you can see the paint on the wall whether your TV Is on your dog
Michael [00:19:31] in the back scratching whatever you Associated all that
Todd [00:19:34] stuff things outside of your room or things outside of your house your more disassociated prom. So I live right across the street from Office Depot, right? So if there were a robbery at the Office Depot, I would be disassociated from him because I wouldn't know but as soon as I turn on that TV in the news station says, oh my goodness it was a Robbery at Office Depot when this Street then now I'm Associated to like, oh my goodness.
Todd [00:20:05] This is literally two minutes away from me. I could have been there then I start associating myself, right? And that's what we do at line. We try to figure out how can we associate things and we add Shrek's on top of ourselves by Sophia things that we don't have to associate.
Michael [00:20:21] So yeah, it's crazy how that that built-in survival mechanism works and looks to attach meaning to things and and I'm sure it's it's meant to Keep Us Alive, you know be be fearful of the things that could harm us, but we're lucky in a in a first world country to largely be able to walk around without those kind of mortal dangers facing us at each turn.
Michael [00:20:46] You know, like at the tigers not jumping out when you when you open the door to your place. They're most likely but we still have that same biological Instinct that wants to attach meaning sometimes those the Spheres just drive us. Can you get so can you talk a little bit more about the way that you started breaking things down and and it helped you understand that there's no such thing as Perfection.
Michael [00:21:10] There's only progress and you know, once you reached kind of a level then then there's another level look too. So I think you've mentioned the story of with reading in particular because that was such a challenge. Yeah, you know and yeah you said hey look the cheat of audio books came out, but when you had to start breaking down a physical book, That to me was a good tangible, you know way to break things down into micro goals.
Todd [00:21:34] Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so What really helps me with the Reading part? Because like I said, I didn't read it all like in school. I didn't open up a book. They were to give me a reading assignment a repaid 1 through 13. You're going to have a test tomorrow would not open the book like I would literally no because the Paint The Words which is jump off the pages to me like like they would just keep moving and I'm just like I cannot concentrate on one sentence and so it was basically death whenever call on me.
Todd [00:22:06] To read our old plan. I'm just like, oh my God, the whole sentence doesn't sound like moving across and again, like I said, I felt them but
Michael [00:22:21] if you want certain right but but the created the crazy thing is right, you're going through that and you're attaching me into it and you're thinking like something wrong with me. I'm dead not learning at the same pace of the other kids, but will you step back and look at it now? It's like somehow you made it through school without ever reading.
Todd [00:22:37] There are way smarter than all the other kids. Yeah, maybe it was crazy that I graduated with a 3.7 and I've
Michael [00:22:45] never met be so something about the educational system there could be
Todd [00:22:50] that
Michael [00:22:53] but now I think I think you mentioned a story about starting to break. I think might even been a mentor and in a program you were in served going like hey, you know break it down into ten Pages a day ten Pages at a
Todd [00:23:05] time. Yeah, and now and I was what it was talking about. He said instead of thinking that you have to read this. Whole book he's like saw one page. He's like one page is better than none. And he was like, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how fast you read. He's like in school. They put a time limit on you. He's like, there's no time limit you just is all about progression.
Todd [00:23:28] And so as I was Taking that book and breaking it down. He explained to me that he struggled with dyslexia also and that like Words will be flipped around. He had a problem with spelling and everything like that, but he he interpreted or he communicated more with like dance and like sports and stuff like that.
Todd [00:23:52] So he was able to convey his message through Sports and stuff like that. So what he would do is as he was reading these books he's personally In books, you would change it into the sports or he would change it in advance and use those illustration in order to make it make sense. So now we're more Associated to the book rather than disassociated from I why am I reading about the science project?
Todd [00:24:17] How do you put yourself in the book? Right? So then I'm starting to go through books like fast. I'm starting to read four to five books a month, like literally reading. I'm not inaudible and because I I was so hungry for the information. It just made sense. And then I was able to take those those books and make those illustrations of how I would live them out.
Todd [00:24:41] You know, so that was that was a big change for me.
Michael [00:24:45] Yeah. Wow. Yeah. So a lot of that just sounds like for you was the there was always a thirst there to learn ya hungry to learn. It was just a matter of learning to learn in a way that that made sensor clicked for you. I don't know if it's it's probably not right to say. That you're lucky to have found that Mentor, you know, I don't I tend to think like, you know these things what's best way to say. I
Michael [00:25:11] don't know the universe kind of puts out there what we need and somehow you came across this person, but you do talk a lot about mentorship and I think that's one of the things you do now as a coach tell me about tell me about mentoring and what clicked for you as a mentor e and as a mentor what you look for in students or house. Students should look for a mentor, you know what's best way to find a fit find that person that you found the really takes you to the next
Todd [00:25:37] level. Okay. It's so I created a company's called breaking glass ceiling and the story behind breaking glass ceiling is that people are always seeing what they want, right? You can see you can go on TV. You can see a car that you want. You can be on the highway. You can see a car you can see amazing house
Michael [00:25:58] your dream house if you want to live in you. A dream job or whatever the case
Todd [00:26:02] is. Most people have no clue on how to get that on
Michael [00:26:06] how to attain that they just like,
Todd [00:26:08] oh well someday one day maybe when I get rich I'm going to or when I when I when I all of this stuff, right? But they have no clue on how to get there. But we were talking about neuro linguistic programming is talking about model. So would it would it help you? If you could find someone who already has that dream car or that treatment house or that drink lifestyle and ask them?
Todd [00:26:35] Hey, like what did you do in order to do that? Right so they have that vision of what they want. And so that's like a glass ceiling they can see through the ceiling but They don't know how to get what what what is a ceiling to one person could be a floor to that mentor. And so that Mentor him just break that glass ceiling from the top and help pull that next person up like oh this is how you do this is you know, this is how you go about it.
Todd [00:27:04] This is the right way o want to make sure that you watch out for this or watch out for that because I've been through right so in that's how you turn decades in two days. It is because that person may have spent, you know, 20 years trying to get where they were and so if they take that 20 years of experience
Michael [00:27:24] and they teach
Todd [00:27:24] me in 20 days and I know exactly how to execute that and it's literally speeding up time. And that's the whole point of coaching is going further faster and you know, some people call it mentoring Antonio coaching but every every single person that is successful has a hope they have someone that's showing them.
Todd [00:27:46] What to do what not to do they show you your blind spot is the same exact thing when you're out there playing basketball and you know, you're trying to shoot and then your code when you come off the court in the coach is just like hey, you know, you're not, you know, having your follow-through or every time you shoot you put your head down or you stop looking at the basket.
Todd [00:28:07] What are you distracted by and just like man, I just had a really bad argument with my girlfriend so I can't really focus right now and then the coach is there. Job to say okay, that's what happened outside of the game. But like a right now we're trying to win the game to get them to focus on what the priority is right then you know, and so that's what literally happened to me.
Todd [00:28:28] Someone who commits 20 years of experience. They started teaching me in 20 days. And so I was able to duplicate what they were doing when they were showing me and it started to change all those aspects that I talked about the health who well in the relationship
Michael [00:28:44] and it started to
Todd [00:28:45] Make me into a different person like I was evolving into a different person and so a lot of times when I'm doing these Massive Action Monday videos people see me from my middle school high school, you know, and they just like, who is this
Michael [00:29:00] person
Todd [00:29:02] our earliest stages in the people just like who is this guy?
Michael [00:29:09] I like the way you described that it going further faster or you know, accelerating along the learning curve. You've literally speeding up time. I said this weekend. I think you know my son and I do these Spartan obstacle course Trail runs and and we had a couple over in Arizona. So we had my son placed fifth on on Saturday and he was bombed.
Michael [00:29:35] So I meant he didn't get a medal. He didn't get on the podium. But you know again, it's kind of the the like you're saying the meanings you attach these things. Well, he just by way of age. He just stepped up in a new category. So now he's the youngest age. Yeah in the 12 to 14. It's only his second race in the new category and he's like he wants to win a place he placed 5th and you know as a coach I'm able to kind of step back and tell them like, hey, you know, there's no failures is only lesson.
Michael [00:30:02] So what are you going to take away from it now? It's hard to apply that to myself. It's easy to say it as a coach. It's hard to apply yourself as an athlete which was a hold of the story for me yesterday, but he came back yesterday and he took third on. The Sunday race so maybe you know God has got his Podium got his bronze medal. Yeah and afterwards were waiting around for the awards ceremony and we had a chance to meet another guy from San Diego.
Michael [00:30:26] He's a fifty-year-old. Okay, he took first on Saturday and Sunday and his age category. Yeah a nice guy named Kevin and he so we had a chance to meet him and I wanted my son. I want him to get to know myself a little bit and my son to get to know him. Not not just like Hey, Kevin, can we grab a selfie?
Michael [00:30:46] But wanted my son to be able to take something away from that. Yeah, and you know, if you call that like a you know, like a two-minute mentoring session if you will or like hey, let me take the opportunity to learn from somebody else who has raced professionally for 20 years, you know, like you're saying what can I take away to help make my training better make my results better and sure enough he gave my son, you know a couple pointers like hey, all right, you got to work on your speed and the way you're going to work on your speed is you're going to work on.
Michael [00:31:16] 200 meter Sprints. Okay. Okay, great. My son's out today working 200 meter Hill Sprints with with with my wife, you know with his mom. So, you know, that's just one tiny tiny little example of where somebody who's done it and figured it out and figured out what works for them might share something that works for
Todd [00:31:35] you. Exactly exactly. I mean, that's that's what it's all about. Like you said, it's just modeling someone that's already successful in it and you will literally have result this. Close to if not the same as them and that's what NLP is all about is modeling those people understanding that you can take that modeling criteria and you can put it in your health.
Todd [00:31:58] You can put it in your wealthy to put it in here relationship. That's how that's how you change my
Michael [00:32:05] nice. So and for somebody to go look for an ongoing relationship more than just you know that again that two-minute conversation and you take away a little nugget of knowledge. When you go you want to find a coach a mentor whatever you want to call it. What are the kind of things you recommend people look for in a mentor or a coach for you? No more enduring relationship.
Todd [00:32:26] Okay. So one of the things that My mentor is explained to me is something that Jim Rohn says he's a year the average of the five people you hang around the most. And when you start to try to change that Circle, you have to understand. How do I get this person who is perceived to be higher than me.
Todd [00:32:48] How do I get their attention? How do I become a part of their five? Right and it is a value game. So it doesn't have anything to do with knowledge that doesn't have anything to do with the ability to that but it's like what value can I bring to this person for them to want to spend time with me as their father? You know and something that I would do is that when I would meet a new mentor and I'm just like, oh my goodness this person made eight million dollars in here, right and he has an amazing relationship because crazy shape.
Todd [00:33:24] I like I need a phone. So what I would do is I would ask him a question like hey, so what book would you recommend or what book are you reading right now? Right is in it. It makes it relevant. So I might be reading thinking Grow Rich and they might be reading something that's more advanced because he's a multi-millionaire and so I'm like well what could be reading right now and they were only in this book and what okay, I would immediately buy that book and I would start reading it.
Todd [00:33:57] So then the next time that I would see them at the conference or the Meetup or whatever. It was I would start to talk to them about their book. Look, I'm like, oh, you know last time I talked to you about this book, and these are the things that I've picked out of it. What are some of the things that you picked out? So now we're having a conversation on their CV level where it's not like bringing them down.
Todd [00:34:20] Like oh, well, you know, how do you make how do you make $100 a week? You know, we're talking about million dollars that is not there were talking about money, but it's more of it's easy to quantify money. So someone who's doing eight million is doing I'm indifferent thought of making $100 and so Tom into the eight million dollar man about this book that he's read and then we're having a conversation higher level conversation.
Todd [00:34:48] And because I'm showing interest in what he's doing in bringing value and even going as far as like saying happy birthday when their Facebook page and sending a voice message or a video message like that's bringing value to someone who I want to get their time. So when you start to see that perceived value then they want to bring you in like hey, I'm having this free
Michael [00:35:10] event. I want to fly you out to this spent. I want you to be my special guest my VIP guests on you sitting in the front row.
Todd [00:35:19] I want you to I want you to do a testimony for me on how I was able to change their life and you start to build that relationship, right? So that's that's how it worked. But it's a value game. It's not a money game. Not a you know, what can you offer as far as like skills anything like Its value is like how do you use your money how to use your skill in order to read it back?
Michael [00:35:41] What does it sounds like so I'm taking two two key things away from that and not to dismiss any the rest of it. But I guess one thing is you got, you know, you kind of bring it down to a level or bring it up to a level of just two people, you know, yeah, both both putting their pants on one leg at a time kind of thing. And and so now it's not the hundred dollar man versus the eight million dollar man.
Michael [00:36:03] It's you know, two people having an intellectual conversation about the same material and the second thing is especially you mentioned, you know, sending a birthday message or voice mail or video or something like that is is just making a making a connection. And and I mean, I think you could have if you're a Jim Rome or if you're somebody that you know some eight million dollar man billionaire who have heard is I'm sure you have a lot of people approaching you all the time looking for your time, and there's probably a lot of people just are looking.
Michael [00:36:35] The gain something out of that but what you described to me is more authentic, you know kind of more a connection kind of from the from the heart and caring about somebody else and you know, just value and something that makes them happier puts a smile on my
Todd [00:36:48] face that day. Yeah,
Michael [00:36:51] very cool. And so you do you still have a mentor
Todd [00:36:55] I do actually have four of them woman
Michael [00:37:01] you different different skills or areas of expertise.
Todd [00:37:05] So I'll usually get one in business one in finance and how you can separate those one in communication specifically. So like that's where like the NLP steps in and then just like hell So those are like the four areas that are pretty much look for. There are other different mentors out there where you can get like a spiritual code if you like it so many different like coaches and niches out there, but just have to figure out what is your outcome.
Todd [00:37:37] Like what do you want? Like what after you work with this person? Where do you want to be? You know, and it regardless of if it's going to be six months it was going to be a year is going to be 5 years. Like what do you want at the end? End of that and does that person have that or do they know how to do it? Right,
Michael [00:37:56] right. Yeah. Okay that makes sense. See each coach probably has some level of specialization and you're looking for somebody who has got the experience experience pre-approve proven by results in the in the area that looking for its this relevant to what you're trying to accomplish. We're at least in an area you think you want to focus.
Michael [00:38:18] It's probably a lot of things. We think we want. Accomplished and we're selling ourselves short. We're capable of accomplishing a whole lot more with with the with the help of that
Todd [00:38:26] coach. Yeah. Yeah, and now I'm not talking bad about the coaching industry, but there are coaches out
Michael [00:38:34] there that
Todd [00:38:35] expect to get on a phone call and say hey what's going on? What do you want to talk about today? And they have no direction of where they want to go and I'm like well if if I want to get somewhere and you're supposed to be coaching the you're supposed to be guiding me, you know, John Maxwell says the leader knows the way shows the way and goes through it.
Todd [00:39:00] And so I really I really big ol leadership and the coach at that point is the leader that's supposed to be guiding you through what you really want. So I was explaining this on my last Massive Action one day that I was talking to someone about their goals for 2020. He's I just want to be my best.
Todd [00:39:21] I was like what was passed out like what does that mean? What is your best meat? And he was just like we're all really I don't know. I don't know what that means. No, they will. Where did you first hear that you want to do your best and you thought well, my mom always said you go to school do your best when you go to college do your best when you go play sports do your best I was like, well, how do you know what your best is like, how can you quantify that at the end of the day?
Todd [00:39:45] How do you know that you've done your best? It's like battle. He was so confused. He's like, I don't know. I really don't know and I was like if you if you were to go to the gym and you just went in there with that mindset that you get only bench, press a hundred thirty-five pounds. You would only do a hundred thirty-five pounds. You would only do it 10 times maybe 11 times maybe 12 times and then you put it down and you will go home and he was like, well, that's dumb.
Todd [00:40:10] I know because sometimes you need a spotter because if you can if you can benchpress a hundred and thirty-five pounds 15 times, you can benchpress 225 pounds six times. You know, you could do 315 probably two to three times, but you might need some help if you're lifting those heavier weights.
Todd [00:40:32] Just like if you're going after those heavier goals, you might need somebody to spot it. So that's what a coach does it helps it helps to streamline the process as far as like thinking about it. So like some people say, oh I'm going to make I want to make a million dollars in my business and then I'll ask them like, whoa, what is million dollars means?
Todd [00:40:52] And they can't they can't break it down that I don't know and I was like so that gold could be coming out of significant like it could be like, oh, hey look at me. I made a million
Michael [00:41:02] dollars in my business. Now, I can show my friends that I'm a
Todd [00:41:05] millionaire. If you if that is the goal is not necessarily going to happen is something that's going to pull you. It has to be something that's going to contribute outside of yourself. So most people like Tony Robbins has ultimate most people push my pain before they pull my vision and so a lot of times people just think.
Todd [00:41:25] Oh once I make a million dollars, I won't have any pain because I'll have all of my bills paid on the worry about financial anything has ever have you ever talked to a millionaire? They have other things that they have and yeah, so kind of like what I think about all the times that most people before they pulled that vision and that coach is supposed to help.
Todd [00:41:50] to make sure that that Vision makes that
Michael [00:41:55] yeah, that makes sense. So so it sounds like you definitely believe in in having some quantifiable metrics are results or Milestones along the way and which I'm totally into that. What about so that can do a few things you can help us measure progress. You can help us try to push Beyond perceived limits.
Michael [00:42:15] What about and I don't know the answer this I'm just kind of testing it is what about things that wouldn't have a quantifiable goal. So, I don't know. Maybe I want to learn. The paint or you know, write a poem or write a book or something like that. That's a little harder to quantify but it could be another way to push ourselves to grow in different
Todd [00:42:34] ways. Right? Right, but again something that I'm always asking my
Michael [00:42:40] clients or people that I work with
Todd [00:42:42] like, what is the outcome when you're trying to write a book I write a poem by Wiz the outcome is it specifically for you or you trying to get your message out there to other people do you? What to do it just to do it just like just to have it polish man in for the people who want to just do it for accomplishment. Then we can start to quantify the pages like, okay.
Todd [00:43:03] Well, that's do one page a day or let's do one page a week. But when do you want to have this done, you know? Yeah,
Michael [00:43:12] okay. Yeah. No, I'm with you I'm with you now. So more about it's more about the results not necessarily and quantifying results. It might be but it's the meaning of the results. Yeah, that makes sense to me. Okay, and so let's flip this around from when you were learning to more about where you're kind of leading with. This is now you are a coach you are a mentor to others who are looking to break that glass ceiling you looking to break it and and and pull people through how How does that work?
Michael [00:43:42] So one tell me about Massive Action Monday's where people find that tell me about where they find Todd gross and what kind of you know, what kind of people do you help? Who do you look to take on how often do people interact with you? Just tell me what that looks like.
Todd [00:43:57] Okay, so I've been doing those Massive Action Mondays out something about because one of the statistics that I heard is that 75% of heart attack helping on a Monday in between
Michael [00:44:12] 7:00 and 9:00
Todd [00:44:13] a.m. And that is because people would rather die than go to a job. So something that was literally stressed and hating Mondays and is celebrating Fridays and it doing that before T years and they're working 40 hours a week to retire on 40% or less and in a thing.
Todd [00:44:38] They going to live off of this 40% somehow it hasn't even learning how to live alone and I was just like me and one day is that people just come on Mondays suck when they start Monday stock and I'm just like what can I do in order to kind of motivate people on Monday?
Todd [00:44:58] Towards something else. You know, like what do you what are you building today? That's going to help you tomorrow. You know, what do you what are you doing today? That's going to help you next week or next year, you know and that type of stuff because it's all about having that Vision. If you don't have Vision you might as well not live, you know and As I was thinking of a concept I was like, well, I don't want to do motivational Monday because everybody does better Vision.
Todd [00:45:25] Let me which is awesome awesome to have motivation. But I wanted to say what can you do today? Like I wanted to take those those action steps. I didn't want to have just motivation because you can get motivated and then the next day it's just like well, I don't have motivation to that and I think Zig Ziglar said something about like eat compared.
Todd [00:45:48] Motivation to taking a shower. He's like that's why you need a daily, you know, so but Massive Action when I'm talking about taking Massive Action, we have to understand that knowledge is not power. Its potential power taking that action is what is true power. So because if you if you know something but you don't do it.
Todd [00:46:10] You don't really know it. It's just in your brain, but it's not in your physiology once you can get something in your physiology than some stop it.
Michael [00:46:18] Right. It's just academic if you don't put it in
Todd [00:46:20] motion, right and so taking it Massive Action. I wanted to I wanted to speak on some of the concepts that my mentors showed me about believing in myself about looking at those labels about mentorship about leadership about neuro linguistic programming about taking.
Todd [00:46:43] Life taking what happens in life and turning it into a learning experience for everyone else, and then basically just sharing that experience with all of the viewers and the followers. Alright, and so I have it on YouTube. So if you want to go on YouTube, you can go just type in my name Todd Gross Junior and my you to pop up, but you can also go to my Facebook page this time.
Todd [00:47:11] I'm Gross Junior. Has a - breaking glass ceiling or you can send me a friend request hargrove's Junior and then you can you can watch them live on Mondays
Michael [00:47:24] Massive Action Mondays. I will get links to all that stuff up with the show notes for this episode and we put stuff out on social it. I did not know that the there were statistics showing that people would rather die than go to work on Mondays, but I do know that there are there's some surveys. Statistics that people fear of public speaking more than death.
Michael [00:47:46] Yeah. Yeah. I mean maybe that was you at one point and now every Monday, you know, you flip on the camera and you just put yourself out there to the world. Yeah on YouTube, you know, that's kind of your form of weekly public speaking which is awesome and and I mentioned earlier and you just you just mentioned your middle initial again, so yummy tell me about it
Todd [00:48:05] Ignatius. Okay. So when I was when I was growing up, I like hated money. And I don't know if it was more of a I didn't like myself. So I didn't like anything about myself that they came with me
Michael [00:48:21] and it's like whatever
Todd [00:48:23] but when I started getting into you know, he I thought it really studying entomology aesthetic word. And looking at back what words mean and where it came from that so I looked at my middle name and people are always saying before I even look at my men and everything. Oh my goodness. Just so fired up what they would say like his trigger word on the phone when I want to phone and then I wait I will go off on this rant about all this personal development firm.
Todd [00:48:51] Like Jim Rohn says is and John Mack is a Tony Robbins says this and I'm just like putting all this stuff and linking all of these different messages together. Anyone just like oh my goodness. Like I'll be talking to you on the phone and then all of a sudden you get fired up and then you just start spouting off all the stuff in the even if I'm sitting there on a zoom. The person I'm talking to you is like jumping across the camera to like grab a notepad and it just like vigorously just right now all of this stuff like right now everything that I'm saying.
Todd [00:49:20] I know my business just go keep going keep going keep going and then I would just come back to my cell phone. What are you doing the right thing to do? Everywhere that I go.
Todd [00:49:59] First name just because I want to sign up I that I wanted to be fired. And in that case if you look at fire fire and be using multiple different ways, so your fire that can keep you warm while you're out and like camping or something like that. It's the same fire that can burn your whole house down.
Todd [00:50:21] And so it literally it literally describes me because I can be that person to comfort you, but if you Mess with my family
Michael [00:50:34] if it fits you perfect perfectly and make sense. You got the backdrop there with the fire and and the big heart on it. I mean fire such a powerful powerful thing and Todd It just fits you perfectly. So let me I love to ask people this this question. And so maybe we'll close come around this last topic of daily routine and and you've So much that you've learned that you synthesize and I was the one sitting here just jot notes down the whole time.
Michael [00:51:05] Luckily. I've got this recorded so I can go back and I can share it but you got so much that you've learned that you put into action that you now give back by way of service through your coaching through your videos. But what does a day look like for you? Do you have tools that you use in the morning intraday evening?
Michael [00:51:26] Do you have routines like that that you like to go through that you can share
Todd [00:51:30] So this far as routines, I've tried a couple before when I really started getting into NLP. I started looking back at my Mantra I guess but it was it was a bad Mantra if I didn't want to wake up. Like I was like, I just hope I die. I hope I don't wake up tomorrow. I'm just not here.
Todd [00:51:51] So something that I started saying because I understood The Power of Words whenever someone would ask me. Hey, how are you doing today? I would say Doing outstanding as always and it was like, well you just sent in three hours of traffic. I want you outstanding. because I wanted to make sure that it would be like second nature for me to say outstanding outstanding outstanding regardless of what's going on.
Todd [00:52:17] And so I went to date with Destiny with Tony Robbins. This is back in 2018 in December and we went through this list of what are your priorities? All right. So some people had love at the
Michael [00:52:31] top priority. Let me go ahead success. Some people had you know happiness
Todd [00:52:36] and then what he did he act he asked Deeper question of what does it take for you to feel loved? What does it take for you to feel success? Like what does it take? And so as we listing out on a rules or our priorities we found that in order for the in order for me to be loved I have to always be getting along with my family. I
Todd [00:53:01] have to always feel like I'm getting a hug after always always always always always in something that's on Robin says he says We have a dirt road to feeling bad, but we have no we have a highway to that to feeling bad. But we have a dirt road to success or to happiness.
Todd [00:53:23] Right and so it just makes so much sense because we make so many rules of perfection of how success looks like. Oh, I have to always close every single call that I'm on, you know all of those different things. And we just set it up for Perfection and then we don't experience that fraction and it's just like, whoa, what's really going on?
Todd [00:53:45] So I looked at my day and I was like, okay, so I'm saying that my day is outstanding. What do I need to do in order to have an outstanding day? All right. So I'm looking at these rules for cannolis rules, like most people would say in order for me to have an outstanding day. I have to have you know a couple moment. I'm feeling refreshed had the best sex of my life.
Todd [00:54:06] I had to have the best. Breakfast didn't burn myself with my coffee, you know dog didn't you know go to the bathroom on the floor or anything like that just have all this amazing stuff. No traffic got to work on time boss wasn't there because he's on vacation. I just outstanding day. Right and I was like that would never happen that would never happen.
Todd [00:54:32] So what what I did is I change my role for have an outstanding day and because I didn't Wake up before I said in order for me to have an outstanding day. All I have to do is wake up. That's my rule. And so now when I wake up, I'm just so full like so deep in the state of gratitude that I'm just I have my doors open to them in San Diego.
Todd [00:54:54] I'm just like this is amazing. Even if it's raining even if it's like a little overcast. So I just think it's amazing just to be a wait wake up Russell my dog a little bit and if you go through a massive action one day
Michael [00:55:07] love it, man. I love it and that really pulls it all together to around attaching meaning to things and having the understanding. That Perfection is unreachable. Yeah. So rather than creating rules for failure rules why we shouldn't have an outstanding day just have a real simple way to wake up and it's already outstanding by definition.
Todd [00:55:27] Yeah.
Michael [00:55:28] Fantastic. Yeah morning gratitude practice is such a great way to start the day. All right. Well Todd breaking glass ceilings the Tactical practitioner man. I enjoyed it as always great to have you on I'll let you know when this is going to drop. Op and again, we'll get show notes up there with links and get some it's a folk steered towards taking massive action and hopefully reaching out to you and maybe asking you more about your services your coaching and your Mentor.
Todd [00:55:55] All right. Thank you. I appreciate you inviting me. This has been awesome.
Michael [00:55:59] I appreciate you Todd. Thanks again.
Todd [00:56:01] Yeah.
Michael [00:56:06] That was incredible to hear from taught about how he has put coaching and tools like NLP and to practice to literally turn his life around a hundred and eighty degrees. I mean this guy is just killing it and you look at where he came from. So if he can do it, you know, we've all got areas. We want to improve on we got no excuses, right? So really appreciate Todd coming on and sharing that with us definitely check out the show notes for this one at man of Mastery.com 0:42 for episode 42 And finally thanks to Todd look to him potentially as a coach if you like check out his Massive Action Mondays on YouTube and also again really appreciate you guys being here listening being ready to take action.
Michael [00:56:50] Love to hear how this is affecting you guys if you're putting it into practice how it's affecting your lives how it's helping improve where you need a kick start or where you're taking it to the next level. So jump on Instagram or Facebook share those success stories. Thanks again for your time. Time this week and we got another good one coming up next week that yeah, it's in the it's still in the first responder realm but it's another good one.
Michael [00:57:15] It's a little bit of a different change of pace for for our themes here, but I think you're going to love it until then have an outstanding day and week catch you next week.